It is a new year. Time for growth and beginnings. What is more emblematic of new beginnings than a garden? Fresh, green sprouts; dark, damp soil and promise of sustenance. This garden is on its way to producing squash, corn, tomatoes, basil, lettuce and we have already eaten arugula. Delicious. Let’s hope the chickens and roosters are untempted.
People just getting home while I’m just getting up. Apparently there was a huge fight that shut down one of the bars. Nobody hurt though, so gratitude is in order. Today is just another day, yet it is a new beginning, depending how you want to see it. I am grateful, still
trying to clean glitter off my face from last night.
Today I am feeling gratitude. A lot of it. I am surrounded by some of my favourite people in the world. Yet I am also far from people I love a whole lot. So it is a bittersweet day. I am grateful to feel love, to receive it and to have people to miss so terribly it hurts in my chest. This feeling of gratitude, as well as a couple of major milestones coming up, plus being around friends and family, are prompting me to reflect on what I have learned in the past year. Or really, so far in life. What do I know to be true so far in this life I get to live, a life that I never thought would have gone on so long?
I know a few things to be true, the main one being that everything is usually okay, whether we think it is or not. And if it is not okay, we can make it so by taking a deep breath. Not one of those breaths that skims the surface. That originates in our mouth and travels in and out of just the top 20 per cent of us. I mean one of those breaths that starts in our lungs, dips gracefully to fill our belly and gusts out of our mouths. One of those breaths that reassures us that, yes, our body is still working just fine. In those moments, when you take a deep breath, you communicate to your mind that you are okay, right then and there.
And if that doesn’t work, take another breath. And another. Until those wonderful oxygen molecules are circulating so prolifically that your body and mind come in concert to realize that despite what your crazed mind is telling you, you are in fact okay right at that second. Your body is working despite you.
Your vision will start to clear. You will start to see what is in front of you rather than the imagery prompted by fear. You will get out of your head and in to reality. And then you will be able to think clearly enough to form a solution or an adequate reaction to whatever problem is plaguing you at that moment.
I know this to be true not because I have done a lot of yoga. Nor do I have this knowledge because I read a lot of self-help books or watch Oprah.(For the record, I do indeed do a lot of yoga, but no, I do not read self-help books or watch Oprah).
I know this because I watched a beloved friend die a slow and excruciating death. She died as a result of cardio obstructive pulmonary disease. I was witness when she lost the ability to breathe on her own. I was witness to her panic when her body betrayed her by failing to deliver oxygen-sustaining life. I was witness to the confusion and fear that sapped her spirit and stole her from those who loved her. And in those moments, I also saw that no matter what, love remained in her eyes. She never lashed out at anyone around her, even in a panic and fear-fueled state. There is little, if anything, more beautiful in this life than someone choosing to be loving when it is so much easier to choose anything else.
From these horrific times I took away two things: that if we can still draw a full breath, we are ok. Everything else is a bonus, whether life is going the way we want it to or not. And that love is always available to us, no matter how scared we are.
So this is what I know to be true. This is what is laid as my foundation as I proceed in this life that I am so grateful for.
Merry Christmas to you. You are a beautiful, loving, breathing spirit and I am also grateful you are alive.
The New York Times has a fantastic long-read today about the challenges associated with being poor and attending college or university. I worked my way through the whole thing- it is definitely worth it. It had me pondering some things though.
When a journalist tackles a long piece such as this that profiles individuals, it is necessary to provide details about the people’s lives and circumstances. So far, no problem. I found that this article, however, starts with a dichotomy of the poor as striving from negative circumstances (mostly true), but also as downtrodden, unfortunate victims (problematic).
The implication, then, that, is that the rich start from a place of positivity and ease. Certainly, when it comes to financial matters, this is true. It can also be true that low-income families have happy, stable and healthy home lives. However, the same cannot also be true for wealthy families- they too can have dysfunctional, unhealthy home lives. (I must acknowledge the privilege associated with being wealthy, and white, for the most part, but I wish to take this out of the equation.) Children from wealthy families can face circumstances that cripple them in life, such as mental health issues, addiction and family trauma (although the article rightly points out that wealthy families can more easily access help and treatment for these problems).
I am not entirely certain what my issue with this article is, just that it is time for journalists to put more thought into how they portray the issue of poverty. The young women in the article are one-dimensional individuals who confirm the stereotypes associated with poverty. No contrasting positive story is provided, nor is there a counter-point provided in the way of a wealthy student who might have had issues in completing their post-secondary educational career. This type of story, while moving and worthwhile, also perpetuates stereotypes of the poor and minority populations as hapless victims who are at the mercy of faceless institutions. Please read the story here and give it some thought.
In any case, I must say that I hope this type of journalism continues. It is absolutely essential.
