Today I am feeling gratitude. A lot of it. I am surrounded by some of my favourite people in the world. Yet I am also far from people I love a whole lot. So it is a bittersweet day. I am grateful to feel love, to receive it and to have people to miss so terribly it hurts in my chest. This feeling of gratitude, as well as a couple of major milestones coming up, plus being around friends and family, are prompting me to reflect on what I have learned in the past year. Or really, so far in life. What do I know to be true so far in this life I get to live, a life that I never thought would have gone on so long?

I know a few things to be true, the main one being that everything is usually okay, whether we think it is or not. And if it is not okay, we can make it so by taking a deep breath. Not one of those breaths that skims the surface. That originates in our mouth and travels in and out of just the top 20 per cent of us. I mean one of those breaths that starts in our lungs, dips gracefully to fill our belly and gusts out of our mouths. One of those breaths that reassures us that, yes, our body is still working just fine. In those moments, when you take a deep breath, you communicate to your mind that you are okay, right then and there.

And if that doesn’t work, take another breath. And another. Until those wonderful oxygen molecules are circulating so prolifically that your body and mind come in concert to realize that despite what your crazed mind is telling you, you are in fact okay right at that second. Your body is working despite you.

Your vision will start to clear. You will start to see what is in front of you rather than the imagery prompted by fear. You will get out of your head and in to reality. And then you will be able to think clearly enough to form a solution or an adequate reaction to whatever problem is plaguing you at that moment.

I know this to be true not because I have done a lot of yoga. Nor do I have this knowledge because I read a lot of self-help books or watch Oprah.(For the record, I do indeed do a lot of yoga, but no, I do not read self-help books or watch Oprah).

I know this because I watched a beloved friend die a slow and excruciating death. She died as a result of cardio obstructive pulmonary disease. I was witness when she lost the ability to breathe on her own. I was witness to her panic when her body betrayed her by failing to deliver oxygen-sustaining life. I was witness to the confusion and fear that sapped her spirit and stole her from those who loved her. And in those moments, I also saw that no matter what, love remained in her eyes. She never lashed out at anyone around her, even in a panic and fear-fueled state. There is little, if anything, more beautiful in this life than someone choosing to be loving when it is so much easier to choose anything else.

From these horrific times I took away two things: that if we can still draw a full breath, we are ok. Everything else is a bonus, whether life is going the way we want it to or not. And that love is always available to us, no matter how scared we are.

So this is what I know to be true. This is what is laid as my foundation as I proceed in this life that I am so grateful for.

Merry Christmas to you. You are a beautiful, loving, breathing spirit and I am also grateful you are alive.