“A concise guide to pelvic policing”


What others do with their ding-a-lings, nut sacks, vajayjays and butt holes is no concern of yours. If penises are inserted into vaginas, anuses, mouths, navels, armpits, nose holes, bottom holes, ear holes, eye sockets or dimples, once these orifices, crevices and creases do not belong to you (or your partner or a minor), you have nothing to worry about. Just sip your tea, look the other way and discuss the weather. Although, if your neighbour engages in unprotected nasal sex, the subsequent sneezing and coughing that is bound to ensue may disturb your sleep and keep you up a night.

These are not my words, this is from a hilarious columnist named Michael Abrahams, who is also a gynecologist, obstetrician, comedian and poet. He practices here in Kingston and writes a regular column in the Jamaica Gleaner. Please read the rest of the column, it sheds some light on the obsession some leaders of this nation seem to have with what other people do in the privacy of their own homes.

It also sheds, more disturbingly, some light on the horrific epidemic of childhood sexual abuse and exploitation here. The Gleaner yesterday reported (from the Office of the Children’s Registry) that

…some 12,449 cases of sexual abuse of girls were reported to the Office of the Children’s Registry between 2007 and 2013, while 892 cases of the sexual abuse of boys were reported over the same period.

That is not something to laugh about, of course, but juxtaposing the two topics in the same column does the clever job of highlighting the issue that really needs addressing: protecting the children rather than worrying about what consenting adults do with one another.

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